Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
