Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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