you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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