I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
