I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
