I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
