I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
