billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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