all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize