He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
