WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
