in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
