Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
