Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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