i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Randomize
