We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Let's get the cat blown out
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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