Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
