my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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