I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Randomize
