:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
