walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize