I could have mohawked her pubes.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
