I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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