i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
my poor anus
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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