i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
