That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
