where am i from again
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize