I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
