Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
...so i touched it.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize