It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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