WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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