so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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