How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
