I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
