Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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