They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I will be naked everywhere
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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