Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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