just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
