dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
