I am puke
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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