meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
