Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
