worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
