do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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