I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
