if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
