i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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