O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Vodka?
Forever.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
