i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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