Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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