i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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