Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
