The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
there was a trapeze. enough said
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
