loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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