At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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