what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
