D3 body, D1 cock
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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