apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
