I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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