This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
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