i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
