Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
