..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
