Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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