Can Purell be used as lube?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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