i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
