Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
