were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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