did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
