make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
