THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
