Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
