New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
