in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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